


Entropy

by Volavi



Series: The Uncertainty Principle [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bruce is Emotionally Constipated, Don't worry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I'm going to make sure these two end up happy!, Injury Recovery, Jason is a nerd, M/M, Melancholy Ending, but this isn't Bruce's shining moment as a dad, but you'll have to wait for another fic for that, eventually, gratuitous scientific musings, no one breaks up, no one dies, ok?, the series will end happily!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:03:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volavi/pseuds/Volavi
Summary: While Dick recovers from bailing out of the Batmobile just before it explodes, Jason and Dick try to keep their relationship a secret from Bruce. But all good things must come to an end.





	Entropy

**Author's Note:**

> This story can be read as a standalone fic, but can also be read after "Detonation" and "Shockwave" for a continuation of those stories. 
> 
> Read the tags. This has a lot of angst, but I promise, I'm not going to kill anyone or break up Dick and Jason. 
> 
> Thanks to @IMightwing and @a-leap-of-faith for the beta reads.

Jason helps Dick hobble around the cave for twenty minutes, then Dick spends another ten  convincing Jason that joining Dick in his infirmary bed is a fabulous idea, and won’t make Dick’s injuries worse, and another five for Jason to help Dick carefully slide over to make enough room, and to arrange Dick comfortably against him, which meant that Dick is awake enough to appreciate it for exactly two minutes. Jason sighs, chuckles to himself, and settles in for a nap of his own. He wakes to the nearly subsonic whine of the JLA transporter warming up, and Jason panics because he can’t move, not without waking Dickie, but the noise means that Bruce and Damian will be in the Batcave in seconds, and seeing Jason and Dick cuddling is very much not how Jason wanted them to find out that he and the Golden Boy are together.

Jason doesn’t have much time to come up with a brilliant plan. He can only think of three options. Does he A) scootch out from under Dick and scram, B) pretend to be asleep, or C) glare angrily at Bruce and defy him to say something. Jason has to admit that option A has a certain appeal to the part of him that usually wants to punch Bruce in his stupid face - but not only did it risk waking Dick up, but could hurt him. Running on fumes as Jason is, he’s not sure if he can pull off the brazenness needed for C, so Jason tries to shift away just enough from Dick to make the bed sharing look more platonic - if that is even possible given how tiny Dick and Jason make the bed look - and shuts his eyes. He runs through a calming meditation, tries to slow his heart rate to fifty beats per minute, and shifts his breathing to mimic sleep. It may or may not fool Bruce and the demon brat, especially if they head straight to the infirmary, but at least if he’s caught faking he’ll be caught doing a convincing fake instead of a half-assed one. 

At least a few minutes pass before Jason hears the sounds of footsteps heading towards the infirmary. He’s not sure what Bruce and Damian are doing, but he is grateful for the slight delay.

The footsteps pause, then Jason hears the sound of Bruce clearing his throat. He ignores it. Bruce grunts.

Jason flutters his eyes open and rubs his face with his free hand. Damian has his arms crossed and is glaring at Jason. B’s cowl and cape are off, and he’s holding the tablet with Dick’s chart, apparently studying it carefully. Jason knows what it says - broken tibia and fibula, class III laceration of the liver requiring surgical repair, dislocated shoulder, blood loss.

Jason allows himself to look directly at Bruce and sits up as much as he can without jostling Dick. “Old man. Demon brat. Glad you decided to join us. Replacement and I have been taking care of the city just fine, though. Without you.”

“How dare you touch Grayson when he’s unconscious!” Damian snarls.

Bruce raises an eyebrow, lips tightening in disapproval. “Explain,” he says, one hand moving just enough to indicate Dick and Jason’s close proximity.  

"B, get your dirty mind out of the gutter. I was cuddled against my will! It's Dick's fault and his touch-starved octopus ways!" Jason says.

Damian continues to glower, but B’s eyebrow twitches up higher and then relaxes. “It is . . . out of character for you to allow this.”

“I’m not the monster you think I am,” Jason says, letting some heat come through in his voice. He inhales deeply and controls his voice again. “Anyway, he kinda got blown up. I DID get blown up. We bonded.”

“Hrn.”

“Tt.”

“Go find Alf. He wants to fill you in. Replacement is sleeping, but he wants to talk too.”

Casting one more scrutinizing look across the bed, Bruce turns abruptly and stalks away. Damian’s scowls deepens, but then he lightly touches Dick’s foot before he attempts to mirror B’s move. And damn if the kid doesn’t half pull it off.

Jason snickers to himself and settles back into the bed. Hopefully Bruce will be upstairs for awhile, at least long enough for Dick to finish his nap. Dick hasn’t been sleeping deeply for long stretches at a time. Jason can wait until Dick wakes up, say goodbye, and then get the hell out of the Cave and Manor. Jason will do his best to avoid Bruce until Alfred decides that Dick is doing well enough to go home.

 

*****

 

Alfred ends up keeping Dick in the Manor for another week. Jason visits during the day, when Bruce is out, but he still doesn’t feel comfortable or welcome in the Cave. Alfie is warm and accommodating, of course, but Jason can’t manage to avoid Tim or Damian completely, and their blatant suspicions grate on Jay’s nerves.

Even though Jason had initially planned to bring Dick back to Jason’s favorite safe house, Jason decides instead to take him to Dick’s apartment, and Jason will stay there, for one simple but essential reason: Jason’s place doesn’t have an elevator. Even if Jay drafted in someone else to help, he’s not sure they would be able to get Dick up four flights of steep and narrow stairs. 

Once they're at Dick's apartment, Jason gets Dick comfortable on the couch, bad leg up on pillows, and then he hunts around Dick’s kitchen which is reasonably well equipped but unorganized.

“What the hell, Dick? Why don’t you keep your pots and pans and the lids in the same cupboard?” Jason calls over his shoulder.

“Because I use the pans all the time and hardly ever use the lids?” Dick responds.

“Well, I need one now.”

Dick is unhelpful, but Jason manages to find everything he needs to make a couple of nice omelets with frozen spinach for the two of them. Low sodium v8 juice will have to stand in for vegetables until Jason can get to the store. Everyone knows that Dick has a sweet-tooth, but he actually eats sensibly most of the time. It’s not his fault that he hasn’t been home for a over a week and all of the fresh produce spoiled. Jason kicks himself that he didn't think about this before getting Dick home, so he could have stocked up. He's doing a shit job at this helpful, caring boyfriend thing. Jason decides to head out in a few hours.

After they finish lunch, Jason puts on _Legally Blonde_ for them to watch. He knows that Dick secretly adores that movie. Jason does too. Because honestly, Elle is a total badass. When the movie is over, Jason extracts himself from Dick’s grasp - how can someone with only two functioning limbs be so entangling? - and stands up.

“Thanks for keeping me company, babe.” Dick grins up at Jason.

“No problem. Need anything? I’m going to go grocery shopping.”

Dick shakes his head, so Jason drops a quick kiss to his forehead and heads out the door. After grocery shopping, he changes Dick’s sheets and helps Dick to bed for a nap. Jason throws on a load of laundry and gives the bathroom and kitchen a quick once-over. Nothing is really dirty or gross, just cluttered and messy. Jason tidies up, because he would feel better if the floor was debris-free, since Dick is going to be navigating around the apartment on a walker or crutches.

Just being home seemed to be doing Dick a world of good. Not that the Manor wasn’t comfortable, and Alfred’s care was always excellent, but Dick didn’t want to address the semi-secret nature of their relationship. He’d been unconscious when Alfred made it clear to Jason that the butler, at least, already knew. Dick hadn’t seen Jay’s near breakdown, his violent search for the people responsible, and Tim and Conner obviously figuring out what Dick meant to Jason, even though nothing was said out loud. He hadn’t seen Bruce’s challenging stare and Damian’s glower (like an angry little lion cub - how did the criminals not just want to pinch his cheeks and coo at how adorable he was?) and nobody had actually said anything. Of course they didn’t. Not in this family.

So Dick still thought of their relationship as being on the down low, especially from Bruce, so once Bruce returned from space, Dick didn’t want any public displays of affection, especially after hearing about their near miss in the infirmary. Back at home, he relaxed, stopped worrying, and Jason allowed Dick to cuddle to his heart’s content. Jason would never admit it out loud, but he’d missed it too.

Once the apartment’s clean and Dick wakes up, Jason joins him for another movie. Jason more than deserves a break after all of that. Jason snuggles Dick up against him on the bed, and for once Jason doesn’t have any snarky comments about Dick’s penchant for an excessive number of pillows of varying sizes. They make a very comfortable nest when properly arranged.

“Have I told you that I love this movie?” Dick asks.

“Yes, you’ve told me that you love this movie.”

“Good, because this is really a good movie.”

Jason chuckles. “Did I accidentally give you a double dose of your meds?”

“Shush. You’re going to miss this part.”

Jason smothers a grin against Dick’s silky hair, then takes a large whiff of the smell and slowly sighs it out. It’s been a couple of days since Dick last had a sponge bath, but he doesn’t smell bad at all. He smells like himself, faintly spicy and warm, with something that makes Jason’s brain feel mushy even as his cock gets hard. It’ll still be awhile before Dick can have sex, and Jason knows this, but all of this physical contact is still affecting other portions of his anatomy. Jason inhales again, feeling fortunate, but not quite trusting his good luck. A week ago he thought Dick was dead, and now they’re watching some ridiculous movie from the ‘90s starring Kurt Russell.

“Did you just . . . smell my scalp?”

“No.”

“You did. You totally did. You’re a sap.”

“I still maintain that I didn’t smell it, but if I did, it’s because you need a shower, not because I’m a sap.”

“Hey, if you think I need a shower, just tell me. Of course, I am going to need help. Know anyone who would be willing to lend a hand?”

Jason pretends to consider. “Hmmmm. Can’t think of anyone.” He heaves a giant sigh. “I guess I’ll have to do it.”

Dick laughs, winces, holds a pillow against the healing incision on his abdomen, and keeps laughing. “Pause the movie then and help me get naked.”

Jason doesn’t need to be told twice. He helps Dick out of his shirt first, then sweatpants, and is in the middle of gingerly easing Dick out of his boxer briefs when the doorbell rings, followed immediately by the sounds of someone opening the door. Not picking the lock, but using a key.

“Who has a key?”

“Wally, Roy, Donna, Alfred, Tim, Bruce.”

They both realize what Dick just said and simultaneously say “Shit.”

Jason has enough brain power to roll his eyes at how many people Dick trusts with keys to his apartment even as he eases the waistband back up Dick’s hips.

They just get Dick back in his sweatpants before Bruce Fucking Wayne looms in the doorway. Jason is kneeling before a shirtless Dick, who is balancing on one leg supporting himself on Jason’s shoulder.

Bruce’s gaze flickers between Dick and Jason. Bruce freezes, eyes going hard. “I’m interrupting.”

Dick freezes, stiffening. “Yeah, you are. What’s the point of knocking if you don’t wait for someone to open to door?”

Bruce’s shoulders tighten. “I know you have a broken leg. I thought I was being considerate.”

“Considerate people phone ahead,” Dick mutters then glances at Jason. “Help me back to bed?”

Jason does so, while Bruce watches the whole time. Bruce’s face hardens as he puts the pieces together. “How long has . . . has _this_ been going on?” he asks, focusing on Dick’s face. And only Dick’s face, as if he had decided to ignore Jason’s presence in the room completely.

Dick pushes himself into more of an upright position, in the process drawing away from Jason as he straightens his spine. Jason’s chest twinges at the rejection until Dick reaches out with his good arm and takes Jason’s hand.

“A few months,” Dick answers stoutly and squeezes Jason’s hand.

Bruce’s mouth tightens and turns even more downward, so much so that Jason thinks that if Bruce was anyone besides Batman, he’d be hurting his own face. Jason knew that frowning allegedly takes more muscles than smiling. Batman probably has scowling practice built into his daily workouts. One hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups, fifty squats, twenty-five scowls.

Jason is aware that he should probably think of something to say, something to defend himself and Dick. But all Jason can do is think of crazy Batman exercises. Glaring at mirrors. Gargling with gravel to get the voice. Melodramatic cape flapping practice.

No one speaks. Jason’s brain is still having it’s own useless pleasure romp and refusing to cooperate with any actual thoughts. Dick seems to be waiting for either Bruce or Jason to break the silence, gazing coolly up at Bruce while keeping a hold of Jason’s hand. Somehow he manages to make perching on the edge of the bed in bandages look dignified, and Jason feels a hint of pride but also disbelief that this perfect man wants to be with him, the questionably sane zombie.

Finally, Bruce growls, “This isn’t . . . appropriate. Or healthy. I’m very disappointed in you, Richard.” Bruce’s eyes flick from Dick’s to alight on Jason’s face for a split second before returning to Dick’s.  “I’m going to leave now and pretend that I never saw this. However, I expect that whatever is going on between you two, it ceases immediately.”

“I’m not going to agree to that,” Dick says.

“Fine. Then Nightwing isn't welcome in the Batcave, and Dick Grayson isn't welcome in the Manor.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time you said that me.”

“Dick . . . maybe you should think about this for a minute,” Jason says.

For only the second time since Bruce entered the room, Dick looks at Jason. He flashes a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t have to.” Dick looks back at Bruce. “You don’t get to burst in here and dictate my life to me. You’ve tried before, and it didn’t work. What makes you think it will work this time?”

Bruce stares for a slow heartbeat. And another one. Then a muscle in his jaw jumps. He nods. “So be it.” He turns and heads toward the door, and even though he’s wearing a Saville Row suit and not the Bat costume, Jason swears he can hear the hiss and snap of the cape slicing the air. Just before Bruce exits, he tosses over his shoulder, almost casually, “Alfred will continue to see to your medical care, and I won’t withdraw financial support from your nighttime activities.” He clears his throat, perhaps realizing what that sounds like. “By that I mean I will continue to fund Nightwing, specifically. If you decide to reconsider, you’ll be welcomed back with open arms.”

With that, Bruce leaves and the door slams shut behind him. Only because Dick still has Jason’s hand in his, Jason feels Dick’s flinch at the thud. And nothing has changed for Jason, not really, he doesn't spend time in either the Batcave or the Manor unless specifically invited, and he's been funding Red Hood himself. But Dick's world has fallen.

Dick looks toward the door as if he is tracing Bruce’s retreat in his mind, down the elevator, out the front door. After a moment, he bites his lip, and his bad arm twitches. Jason guesses that he tried to rub the back of his neck before realizing he can’t actually move that arm quite yet. Dick blinks hard a few times, then looks at Jason. He forces a smile, and this time it does reach his eyes, though it’s a wan, pale imitation of his normal bright grin.

“Do you think you could pop some popcorn? I should have some in the cupboard to the left of the microwave.”

Jason is not good at this emotional shit. That is more Dick’s domain than Jason’s. Hell, even Harper can handle this, sometimes, but Jason doesn’t have a clue what to say or do. Should he play along with Dick’s act, that nothing is wrong, that he didn’t effectively get disowned by his father figure for the second time in his life? Should Jason acknowledge Dick’s loyalty to Jason, if only in some small way?

And then Jason feels something devastating, like a scalpel carving an autopsy incision, slice from his sternum to his stomach, but on the inside. The devastation settles into his gut, makes him want to be sick. Jason doesn’t deserve Dick, and yet Dick just threw his relationship with Bruce away, choosing Jason instead. Jason isn’t worthy. Not of the happy Dick laughing at the bad movie, not the brave Dick trying to put on an act to hide his own feelings. And despite the fact that Bruce had barely even looked at Jason, Jason feels like Bruce’s ultimatum was an indictment of Jason himself. That Jason is too fucked up to be in a relationship with the golden boy, the favored child, Batman’s first and best partner. Part of Jason agrees with that assessment. 

Jason lets go of Dick’s hand, and was the clamminess from him or Dick? Either way, Jason resists the urge to wipe his palm on his pants as he fakes a small smile of his own. “Sure,” he says, hoping that the casual tone doesn’t ring as false to Dick as it does to his own ears. Probably a futile wish, but Dick doesn’t call him out. Jason rises off the bed and makes his way into the kitchen on legs that seem to be running on autopilot.

Jason finds the popcorn and starts it going in the microwave, listening to the pops as the kernels heat and explode.

When a fuel is burnt, it’s gone. Whatever potential it had - gone.

Robin, gone.

Even the promise of eternal rest from life, the sanctity of the grave, gone. Gone for Jason, anyway.

Entropy means that order will turn into disorder. Given enough time, everything will break down to nothing. Eventually it will move from ordered to disordered, structure to lack of structure, energy released and spent. Used up. Good into bad.

Like Jason’s life. He’s seen the pattern play out again and again.

The microwave drones, the popcorn turns, the bag puffs up. The smell makes Jason’s stomach protest, but he can’t bring himself to really care.

Entropy is the reason a perpetual motion machine can never truly work. It’s always going to have some element of inefficiency. Some heat escapes, and not all of the energy returns to the machine. For physicists, heat and energy are interchangeable. Entropy always increases.

Even the sun will ultimately run out of fuel and dissipate. The models show that the universe itself, given enough time, will dissolve to nothing but the remnants of decayed atoms. Scientists call it heat death, when the last stored energy is gone.

Jason’s death was cold, too.

Numbly, Jason takes the bag of popcorn back to the bedroom. He hands it to Dick as he climbs into bed. He fluffs the pillows and pulls Dick closer so his good side is nestled against Jay and his injuries are supported by feathers and down.

Dick turns his head up, nuzzles Jason’s jaw with his lips until Jason gets the hint and bends to present his mouth to Dick. Dick pushes into the kiss, but Jason just feels sad and hollow.

“You okay, babe?” Jason asks when the kiss is over and Dick relaxes again. After all, Dick is the one who just lost his relationship with Bruce. Jason’s own relationship with the man decayed years ago. Worms and decomposition.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

Jason doesn’t believe him, but pushes play on the remote. Everything is going to decline into disorder, anyway. Might as well watch a movie and eat popcorn.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This will be continued. Thanks for reading!


End file.
